Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I'm 8 weeks 3 DAYS!

It feels like such a victory! Lol...I know that sounds silly because I'm not really that far along but the days seem to be crrrraaaaawwwwllling by with such bad morning sickness. It seems a lot worse than with Jace this time but I think that is only because this time I have a two yr old to chase around! And yet I can't believe that in another 8 or 9 weeks we will know whether we are having a baby girl or baby boy! It's all worth it though and I am so so very glad God has blessed us with a second little miracle. Normally I worry so much about...everything! I have come across so many stories though of mothers who have lost thier little ones and while I believe with a FULL heart that this little one will be born perfectly healthy I want to treasure every moment I have with him/her. As sick as I am I feel like it is the greatest blessing ever to carry my children. There are so many who can't. I feel so completley happy that I can. Everyone is asking whether I want a little boy or girl and even though I am longing for a little girl, I would also be so completely estatic if this were to be a boy. I know that God has a prefect plan for our lives and that he is already creating this totally unique little human inside me that is being created just for us to love.

And our Jaceman is turning TWO in two days! I cannot believe it. TWO years since my baby came into this world. I love him so much. Mark and I look at him everyday and we can't believe he's ours. He's growing so big and doing so many things, he just amazes me. I still get lost in his baby blues and I treasure every moment I have spent with him. I don't regret for one single second being a stay at home mom. I don't feel like I have lost my dreams. My children are my greatest dream, my greatest hope is for them to grow up happy healthy LOVED and to know Jesus. If I can accomplish that in this life then I will consider myself VERY successful. Of course there are days when I feel stretched and challenged, and I have so many people saying we need more alone time...while I understand that I also understand my baby is not going to be a baby forever....he has already grown so much. We of course take the occasional break to keep from going crazy, but other than that we love being with him. He is wild, crazy and ALL boy ALL the time but I would'nt change him for the whole world.

I know this was a short blog but just wanted to chat a little about our kiddos! Hopefully I'll actually get this blog addy out so everyone can see it that cares to know! Lol...


Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Why is my blog called Carry?

Because He Carries me.

My Jesus has carried me through every storm, every trial, every moment of my life.

I just LOVE that definition "To hold or support while moving; bear." He always holds and supports me, bears my burdens. But he never stops moving forward. The Lord is change, life and life never stops growing and expanding, going forward. His Spirit is truely a mighty wind. But when the going forward is to hard, when I cannot face one more step he carries me. Like the footprints poem:

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Scenes from his life flashed across the skyand he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,one belonging to him and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life had flashed before him,he recalled that at the lowest and saddest times of his lifethere was only one set of footprints.
Dismayed, he asked, "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,you'd walk with me all the way.I don't understand why, when I needed you most,you would leave me."

The Lord replied, "My precious child.I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and sufferingwhen you saw only one set of footprints...
That was when I carried you."

I look back on the times of my life before I knew Jesus, before I met him on that beach in Florida and I remember so many times of feeling so alone. But he was always there. His grace was there to carry me through. He has protected me SO MANY TIMES. Probably more than I will ever realize or know.

I just want to tremble and cry when I realize all those times. He has carried me, protected me. He has never let me stray far. My life could be an absolute disaster right now if the Lord hadnt protected me. But he did. Like I carry and protect my son with all thats within me, he does the same and He is FAR greater than I. I look and just see almost visibly His hand on my life SO many times.

I can't explain why but He has protected me so many times. It's a special hand on my life that is there, but there were times also when He just let me fall and just as in James when it says to praise Him for our trials I PRAISE Him. Those trials shaped my heart and the person I am today.

I just read a post on someone elses blog from a blogger who wanted to know how to know Jesus more. To me it's simple. Just let Him carry you. In general we are so afraid to be weak, to be innocent as a child. The world tells us to be tough and hard and protect ourselves. Loving God truely is the ultimate vulnerability. It is to forsake all our previous logic and just simply trust and open our hearts to Him. So if by chance you are reading this and you are wondering how...just remember...its as simple as opening your arms to Him and asking Him to carry you.